


Knowledge

by Scriptfeather



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Confusion, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 06:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16655758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scriptfeather/pseuds/Scriptfeather
Summary: Takes place directly after S08E07: A short text about what could have happened the first night Cas was back from purgatory.Dean refuses to sleep, which causes him to start realizing something.





	Knowledge

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to point out any language mistakes, since this is my first English fanfiction. :)

 “Shouldn't you go to bed now?”

It was the umpteenth time now that Castiel had asked him this question. The angel was just a few hours back from freaking _purgatory_ and annoyed him yet again with his constant prudence.

On second thought, Dean didn't mind too much.

“Are you my mom, Cas? I'm fine. I just need to get this done.”

“To get what done?”

Dean didn't answer him. Instead, he pressed his lips together and continued to stare at the screen of his laptop.

Castiel looked up and closed the worn out book he had been reading for the last few hours. Dean didn't even know where he got that from, since they were currently in a hotel. Exceptionally they had decided for an apartment with different rooms for all three of them. A little well-earned luxury after the whole thing with Crowley in that factory.

They had directly driven into another city nearby to get some rest and Sam had immediately wished them a good night and vanished into his room. Dean had sat down at a tiny table in the living room of their apartment to research a few things. He couldn't simply go to bed now.

Cas was back. And he needed to know why.

The angel had leaned at the kitchenette the whole time while reading that mysterious book. Now he came over to the table and placed one hand on the back of Dean's chair.

“It's just that you said you wanted to get up early tomorrow. It is two in the morning by now. What is so important then? Maybe I can help.”

Dean ran a hand over his face and took another sip of his coffee. It was the fifth cup by now, but he needed to stay awake. The cozy dim lights in this room didn't exactly help.

“Unless you suddenly remember how you got out of purgatory... No.”

“Dean.” Castiel sighed. Suddenly he closed the laptop right before Dean's eyes.

“The hell, Cas?”

“Don't you think, that this can wait until tomorrow? If it makes you feel better, I can search through this metallic box for you, while you sleep. Sam showed me how to use it.”

At first Dean threw him a doubting look, but those damn blue eyes could be so unrelenting sometimes. Finally he lifted his hands as he gave in.

“All right, all right.” He stood up, but hesitated for a moment. “Then... good night, I guess.”

“Good night, Dean.”

He just opened the door which led to his room for the night, when he hesitated again. Then he turned around to look at Castiel once more.

“You know, I just remembered this book that I always wanted you to see. Do you mind having a look at it?”

“Now?” Castiel looked confused.

“Yeah, who knows what comes in the way tomorrow?” Dean shrugged before he opened the door a bit wider and pointed into his room. “You coming, or not?”

Still with a bewildered look on his face, Castiel followed him inside where Dean began to search through his duffel bag.

“Wait a second. I think I put it somewhere in here.”

“Do you mean this one?”

Castiel nodded at a book on a cupboard on the other side of the room. Dean knew very well that he himself had put it there just a few hours ago, but Cas didn't need to know that. He stopped rummaging through his bag and turned around.

“Oh, eh... Yeah. There it is.”

He ran a hand through his hair and walked over, while Castiel took the book and examined it with a critical look on his face. Then he opened it and turned a few pages.

“A book about different kinds of rifles? You know more about these things, than I do. What do you want to know from me?”

Dean shrugged.

“I, eh... I just wanted to know, what you think about 'em. Getting a second opinion, you know? I thought about expanding our inventory a bit. Maybe you could take a look into this book and-”

With narrowed eyes Castiel interrupted him.

“Dean, I may not know very much about human subtext, but I can tell this is not about the book.” Castiel's eyes wandered around the room before he looked back at him. “So what is this really all about? Even I can tell that this is not how a person normally behaves in the middle of the night. Especially not you.” With a short glance at Dean's bed, he added: “I think you're delaying something.”

Cas passed the open book over to Dean, a questioning look on his face. Dean took it and closed it immediately. He sighed. Silently he cursed the damn angel, that always seemed to know what was going on inside of him. It was like Cas could _read_ him.

“It's just... “

Avoiding Castiel's eyes he turned the book in his hands a bit around but threw it then back onto the cupboard. He took some time until he spoke again.

“I thought you were gone, okay?” Dean gestured wildly around. “Like _really_ gone. And now that you're suddenly here, alive and all that, without even having a clue how that possibly could have happened, I-” Dean paused. “I'm still afraid this all might be just a dream and the moment I go to bed and fall asleep, I might wake up. With you gone. Again.”

Hearing that, Castiels gaze turned a little softer and he took a step towards him.

“This is no dream, Dean. I will still be here. I promise.”

Deans laugh came out joyless. And a bit... nervous? _What the hell?_

“Yeah, yeah I know... Well, my mind knows, but it seems my heart didn't quite get the message, yet.”

The angel's gaze wandered from Dean's eyes down to his heart. Then he placed one of his hands carefully on Dean's chest, which caused the heart beneath to jump a few times.

Probably the after-effect of sleep deprivation and too much coffee, Dean thought. (And hoped.)

A few moments later, his heart continued with its normal rhythm. It maybe even slowed down a bit. Dean noticed a comforting warmth spreading out from the place where Castiel had put his hand on his chest. He was sure that he used some kind of mojo on him there, but he couldn't care less right now. It felt good – calming even.

Castiel smiled a little, when he finally took away his hand and looked up to return Dean's gaze again.

“Your heart knows now.”

Slightly confused, Dean blinked a few times while looking first at his chest and then back into those blue eyes in front of him.

“What-” Dean had to clear his throat. Somehow his voice had come out a little scratchy. “What did you do?”

“I took away your fear. It won't last long, but you will be able to fall asleep if you go to bed now.”

“Oh... Wow. Thanks then... I guess.”

“You're welcome.”

Castiel's smile grew a bit wider and even reached his eyes, where Dean could now recognize a sparkling in between all the deep blue. Again that damn overdose of caffeine made his heart stumble a few times and before he could stop himself, the words already came out of his mouth.

“You should smile more often, you know?”

_What the hell, dude? Maybe a bit more chick-flick?_

Apparently the whole mojo-thing made him feel way too comfortable, talking about stuff like this.

The smile vanished from Castiel's face. Instead, he looked confused now.

“Why? As far as I know, a smile is just another way of communication between humans and mostly unnecessary in any kind of discussion.” Slightly he tilted his head. “What additional effect does it have, when I smile?”

_If you knew..._

Dean took a deep breath to get rid of the sudden tingling in his body and faked a yawn.

“You know what, Cas? You're right.” He patted his friend on the shoulder and led him to the door. “Time to go to bed now. See ya tomorrow aaaaand good night.”

Castiel looked even more confused when Dean closed the door so quickly in front of him, but Dean didn't care. Cas might know a lot about him, but he certainly didn't have to know _everything_.

Especially not the things Dean didn't even want to know himself.

 

 


End file.
